STARLIGHT DANCE CHARTS · No. 1 · ONE SHILLING

THE PALM‑WINE SHUFFLE

The brand-new dance to go with “DON’T SPILL MY CALABASH” — devised, taught and personally guaranteed by Prof. Kwabena “Sweetfoot” Adjetey-Mensah & his Starlight Rhythm Aces

PRACTISE WITH THIS RECORD!
Starlight
SL‑45‑017

Good afternoon, my friend! You have bought the record. You have bought the chart. You have made two excellent decisions in one afternoon and I am proud of you already.

Tonight at nine o’clock, on the roof-garden of the Hotel Starlight, my band will play “Don’t Spill My Calabash” and the whole floor will do the Palm-Wine Shuffle. EVERYBODY. You too. Especially you. Unfold this chart one panel at a time, read every word — I wrote every word — and by nine o’clock your feet will know what to do even if your head is still arguing.

The Starlight Rhythm Aces on the roof-garden bandstand, all three trumpets polished; the second trumpet is Mr. Ofori's nephew, who is on probation

Above: the Starlight Rhythm Aces. Note the trumpet section. THREE trumpets. Polished daily. You will hear them coming.

HOW TO READ THIS CHART

Gentlemen: your shoes are the SOLID ones — brogues, polished, as I trust yours are this evening. Ladies: yours are the OUTLINED ones — court shoes, elegant, exactly like you.

The number tells you WHICH step. The little count underneath tells you WHEN. The tangerine arrows tell you WHERE. A dashed curl means SWIVEL — from the ball of the foot, please, not from the knee. If you forget all of this, follow the trumpets. Mr. Ofori on first trumpet has not played a wrong note since 1958 and he will tell you so himself.

THE BASIC STEP — EIGHT COUNTS, TWICE

1 — Left foot FORWARD!
2 — Right foot forward. Sway, my friend, sway!
3 — Side to the left. Shoulders easy.
4 — Back on the right.
5 — Back again. Not too far!
6 — Side right. Here it comes...
7 — HIP-CHECK! Gently, gentlemen!
8 — Close up. Beautiful. Again!

Ladies, you do all of this in the mirror — when he goes forward, you go back. You already knew that. I am only writing it down for the gentlemen.

THE FLOOR — STEP ALONG!

3345

Choose your shoes, press PLAY, then step with the ARROW KEYS — or tap each footprint as it lights. On the beat, mind!

Arrow keys: ▲ forward · ▼ back · ◀ left · ▶ right. Speed and practise changes take effect when the needle goes back on. Scuffs stay where you made them. That is how paper works.

THE TURN & THE CALABASH FREEZE

THE TURN (step 11). Count three of the second phrase, gentlemen, you go LEFT and you turn with it — the lady turns under your raised right hand. Raise it HIGH. Not so high that you knock the paper lanterns. Ladies, if he forgets to raise it, turn anyway and look at him meaningfully.

THE CALABASH FREEZE (step 12, count four). Gentlemen: STOP. Chin up. Both hands raised, balancing a full invisible calabash upon your head. Do not spill it! Ladies: you admire the calabash. You admire the gentleman. Two whole beats of admiration, then the trumpets release you.

ANYBODY who does the calabash freeze on beat 6 will be asked to sit down. I have the authority. I also have the microphone.

THE FINAL SPIN (steps 15 & 16). Seven: spin. Eight: land, facing your partner, smiling as though it was easy. I will be honest with you, my friend, because I am always honest: most couples will need to practise in the corridor first. The hotel manager asks that you do not practise in the lift.

THREE VARIATIONS FOR SHOW-OFFS

i. The Double Calabash — freeze on count four, then again on count four of the NEXT time round. Only when we play the long version. You will know it is the long version because the trumpets will wink at you.

ii. The Sweetfoot Dip — on the final eight, the lady leans back and the gentleman catches her. The gentleman MUST catch her. Practise this on a sofa.

iii. The Pour — on count two, the gentleman pretends to pour from his calabash into the lady’s invisible cup. Ladies, you may refuse. Refusing with style is also a variation.

TROUBLE WITH YOUR FEET?

I stumbled on count three.: Did you stumble? Wonderful! Stumbling is the first lesson! The second lesson is getting up on count four.
My partner is taller than me.: Splendid — more partner to admire! Gentleman shorter? Raise your arm on the turn and let the lady bend her head a little; she will do it gracefully, ladies always do. Lady shorter? Gentlemen, the calabash freeze is now an excellent view of the top of her new hairdo. Compliment it.
The record is too fast for me.: Flip the little switch to 33 or press PRACTISE SLOWLY. Mr. Ofori will sound like a sleepy uncle. He will forgive you.
Is the hip-check proper?: Done gently, it is perfectly proper. Hips touch, hips part, everybody smiles. Done roughly, it is a collision and I will see it from the bandstand.
Can I learn it alone?: Certainly! Use a broom. A hat-stand. Your brother. All have danced it this week in my own house.
What about the cables?: THE CABLES. Those black snakes running to the bandstand belong to my amplifiers. They are not part of the dance. There is no step on this chart that goes near them. Step on them and my guitarist goes silent, and then he goes looking for YOU.

NEXT IN THE SERIES: CHART No. 2

You have mastered the Shuffle (or you are about to, I have every confidence). Now prepare for THE KOKONTE KICK — out at Whitsun, with a brand-new record and a step so cheeky I had to lie down after inventing it.

Chart printed Tuesday last. Obtainable wherever “Don’t Spill My Calabash” is sold. If the ink smells, that means it is fresh.
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