an annual report to friends, neighbors & the wider business community
fiscal year ending September 30, 1997
Dear Friend,
You will forgive me — and the misuse of the company e-mail account, if Edna is reading this — for taking up the wires once again. I retired from Allenby Pumps & Casings in the spring of '93 with the firm understanding that I would spend my days fishing for trout. The trout, as it turns out, do not need me. My granddaughter Piper, age 8½, does.
"We do not open on Sundays out of deference to Mrs. Plourde, who attends services across the street and dislikes the sound of children counting change during the homily."
She has been operating a lemonade stand from the corner of Elm and Hatcher since Memorial Day weekend. I have served as her unpaid consultant, accountant, and most frequent customer. What follows is the annual report I have helped her prepare, in the manner of the more dignified businesses on which I cut my teeth at Allenby. The format may strike you as overbuilt for a card table operation. I would gently disagree.
The stand consists of one (1) folding card table, draped with a bedsheet of the floral variety, located 22 ft. east of the maple stump on the southeast corner of the property line. Inventory is staged in a Coleman cooler that I have personally inspected and which seals correctly when latched. A canopy was added in early July following the unfortunate Sun-Stroke Incident of July 6th — the operator is fine; the lemons were not.
Hours of operation are nominally 10:00 a.m. through "however long it takes," which our records show averages 2 hr. 47 min. on weekdays and 4 hr. 12 min. on Saturdays.
we considered patenting the salt step. legal counsel (her father) advises against, on the grounds that it is "just chemistry, Pem."
Below please find the figures, audited by myself and double-checked by Mrs. Hadley — a sharper pencil than I, and the only reason any of our taxes have ever cleared on time.
| REVENUE | |
|---|---|
| Standard cup, 8 oz. @ $0.25 — 211 units | $52.75 |
| "Big Cup," 16 oz. @ $0.50 — 41 units | $20.50 |
| Tips (mason jar, labelled "TIPS PLZ") | $13.42 |
| Coins found in jar that weren't ours (returned to Mr. Aldridge) | $0.00 |
| GROSS REVENUE | $86.67 |
| COSTS | |
| Lemons (Hatcher's Market, bulk) | $14.80 |
| Sugar & salt | $6.85 |
| Paper cups (250 ct., box) | $4.99 |
| Ice (donated by Grandma) | $0.00 |
| Sign repair (rain damage, June 14) | $1.20 |
| NET PROFIT | $58.83 |
Of the net, $30.00 was disbursed to the operator and deposited into a passbook savings account at First Heritage, where she earns 3.1% APY and watches the little number go up. The remaining $28.83 has been reserved for FY '98 capital improvements (see Section IV).
The board (myself, Mrs. Hadley, and the operator, with her father abstaining) has approved the following capital expenditures for the coming year:
The operator further intends to add an iced tea SKU next summer, pending taste tests and the procurement of a thermos. I have advised her that diversification is the friend of the small concern and the enemy of the focused one. She is considering this advice and will, I expect, ignore it.
hi everyone. thank you for buying lemonade. my favorite customer was Mrs. Plourde's dog Bisquick because he is very polite and his owner tips for him. next year i will have iced tea and maybe cookies if Constance and i shake on it for real. grandpa wrote a lot of words above but the main thing is please come back.
— love, Piper Hadley-Coltrane, Founder, CEO & Squeezer
Respectfully yours,
Pemberton J. Hadley, P.E. (Ret.)
Consulting Treasurer, Squeeze & Sit Co.
Past President, Allenby Pumps Pensioners' Assoc.
Amateur historian, Penninsula County Historical Soc.
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