✿ ✿ ✿ tipsy on lavender ✿ ✿ ✿

ok SO. the recycling thing. for phyllis. (and u)

the bins, allegedly

HI HI HI hello it's me cassie. so phyllis from the cell phone kiosk next door has been asking me about the NEW RECYCLING RULES every single shift because apparently i "look like the kind of person who would know" which is just because i wear glasses i think?? i don't even live in fern hollow!!! i live in WEST fern hollow which is DIFFERENT (different bins, different day, different attitude entirely, west fern is fancy now).

but i went home and i pulled out the little glossy brochure they shoved in our screen door last weekend & i'm just gonna type the whole thing here so that anytime ANYONE at the info desk asks (and they ASK, oh boy do they ask, this past weekend i had a man who was VERY UPSET about a yogurt cup) i can just point them to this entry and go "hi sir, cassie's lj url please, thank u, the elevators are to ur left." so:

ok here we go ✿ ✿ ✿

the haulers pull up tuesdays at 7:15am on the DOT, even snow, even sleet, even that one tuesday in march where the moon was doing whatever it was doing and phyllis cried in the food court. you put your bins out by 7:00 sharp or you wait two weeks (i KNOW). lids OFF every jar, EVERY jar, even the cute tiny ones, rinse them with the dishwater you were gonna toss anyway. NO PLASTIC BAGS in the curbside bin — bag-in-bag is a "contamination event" and they will sticker your bin with the sad pink sticker of shame and your neighbors WILL see it. aluminum cans get crushed flat (i stomp mine in the entry hall like a goblin, it's fine, it's fine). pizza boxes: ONLY the clean half, tear it off, keep the part that didn't touch the cheese, throw the greasy half in regular trash like a normal person. cardboard has to be DRY, dry dry dry, no exceptions, if it got rained on overnight it's trash now, sorry babe. electronics go to the rec center, third saturday of every month between 9 and noon, bring ID, they're weird about ID. glass is every OTHER tuesday only, and the dates are in the brochure but ALSO online at fernhollow dot gov slash bins, and there is honestly a kind of smart anger in every email residents send to town hall about it, i'm just SAYING, the town clerk is one bad faith yogurt-cup-man away from quitting and going to work at the kohl's. illegal dumping you call 311, and yes you CAN report your ex's landlord for putting a microwave in the woods, you don't even have to give your name, isn't that nice. that's it that's the whole brochure i typed it all out i deserve a soft pretzel.