THE DIRECTORY
forty-three folks who run the North-Platte-to-Cheyenne stretch on the regular — listed by handle, with rig, home 20, and what you'll catch 'em saying when the sun's down and the road's quiet.
A
ANGEL CAKE CH 19
rig
1968 Kenworth W900A, baby blue, peeling angel-wing decals on the sleeper
home 20
Kearney, NE — lives with her sister and three cats named after presidents
"sugar, if the road's wet, the road's wet, ain't nobody arguing with the road."
APPLEJACK ALICE CH 19
rig
'70 Peterbilt 359, candy-apple red, hauls preserves out of Grand Island
home 20
Cozad, NE — her mama still puts a sandwich in her glovebox every Sunday
"y'all be careful, the deer on this stretch have ATTITUDE."
B
BIG DADDY DUTCH CH 19
rig
'66 Mack RS700L Cruiseliner, oxblood with chrome stacks bigger than your arm
home 20
Cheyenne, WY — between a wife, an ex-wife, and a girlfriend who knits him sleeve covers
"if you can see my mudflaps, partner, you're already too close."
BOXCAR BEULAH CH 19
rig
1971 White Freightliner WFL-8664, painted up like a county-fair caboose
home 20
Sidney, NE — keeps a parakeet named Doolittle on the dash
"got a smokey takin' pictures at the Sunol weigh, slow it down lovebugs."
BUTTERMILK BRAD CH 19
rig
'69 GMC Astro 95, cream with brown stripes, hauls dairy
home 20
Brady, NE — got engaged twice last year, to the same gal both times
"I'm runnin' milk, fellas, so I ain't fast and I ain't sorry."
C
CORNSILK CH 19
rig
'65 International Transtar 4070, faded yellow, runs grain
home 20
North Platte, NE — sings tenor in the Lutheran men's choir, secret's out
"breaker breaker — anybody got the score on the high-school game?"
COWPOKE LEONARD CH 19
rig
'71 Peterbilt 358, white with turquoise pinstriping he did himself
home 20
Pine Bluffs, WY — claims he can yodel, the evidence is mixed
"affirmative, good buddy, that's a big ol' ten-four with whipped cream on top."
D
DOUBLE-CLUTCH DARLENE CH 19
rig
'68 Kenworth K100 Cabover, forest green, drives barefoot in July
home 20
Ogallala, NE — the lake gal, swears she's seen a sturgeon out there
"if I gotta downshift one more time I'm gonna marry this gearbox."
DOZER DON CH 19
rig
'63 Diamond T 921, faded brown, slow as a Sunday hymn
home 20
Big Springs, NE — naps in the lot, snores you can hear from the pumps
"copy that. wakin' up. givin' it about forty minutes. roger roger."
E
EVENING STAR CH 19
rig
'70 Kenworth W900, midnight blue with a silver star on the door
home 20
Lodgepole, NE — widow, two grown boys, both run rigs too
"y'all keep the shiny side up. mama said so."
F
FLAPJACK FERNANDO CH 19
rig
'67 Peterbilt 351, sun-bleached orange, refrigerated trailer full of pancake mix
home 20
Cheyenne, WY — cook of the year three times running at the church potluck
"the diner at Brule, friends. the diner at Brule. that's the move."
G
GREASE GUN GERTIE CH 19
rig
'69 Mack F-700, navy, can fix anything with a rag and a swear word
home 20
Kimball, NE — runs a side business sharpening kitchen knives, no appointments
"you got a fan belt slappin', honey, pull over before it pulls you over."
H
HAMMER DOWN HANK CH 19
rig
'71 Freightliner WFT, polished aluminum, claims he's never had a ticket — Doris says ask the boys at Pine Bluffs
home 20
Cheyenne, WY — wife: Loretta. cat: also Loretta. nobody asks.
"got my foot in it, fellas, see ya at the chrome shop."
HOOTOWL HARRIET CH 19
rig
'68 GMC 9500, brown with cream trim, only drives between dusk and dawn on purpose
home 20
Paxton, NE — Ole's Big Game Lounge regular, says hi to the polar bear every time
"breaker — there is a Volkswagen in the left lane doing forty-four. forty-four."
J
JITTERBUG CH 19
rig
'70 Peterbilt 351, candy black, hops out at every coffee stop, never stops talkin'
home 20
Sutherland, NE — owes everyone five bucks and pays it back in pie
"y'all I had THREE cups already this is fine this is fine this is fine."
JUNIPER JOY CH 19
rig
'66 White 9000, sage green, smells like sagebrush and Juicy Fruit
home 20
Burns, WY — sings along to the radio LOUD, doesn't care who hears
"oh that's a PRETTY moon tonight, y'all should pull over and look at it."
K
KICKSTAND KENNY CH 19
rig
'69 Kenworth W900, cherry red, used to race motorbikes, has the limp to prove it
home 20
Hershey, NE — chocolate jokes wear thin, do not test him
"affirmative on the deer, I see her, I see her, she's beautiful, please move."
L
LEFTY LOU CH 19
rig
'64 Autocar DC-9964, primer gray and proud of it
home 20
Lewellen, NE — left-handed, left politically, left-turning preferred, the man knows what he likes
"this here CB has a fuzz problem and I think the fuzz is me."
LITTLE WHEEL CH 19
rig
'71 Ford LTL-9000, butter yellow, the smallest fella with the biggest rig on the lot
home 20
Wallace, NE — five-foot-three, drives with two pillows, fight him about it
"copy that good buddy, I'll see you at the Bosselman's, I'm gonna order the chicken-fried."
M
MAMA HEN CH 19
rig
'68 Peterbilt 359, robin's-egg blue, paint job done by her grandson
home 20
Maxwell, NE — keeps a tin of bacon-grease biscuits for any rookie who flags her down
"who's hungry. who's tired. who needs a sweater. tell mama."
MIDNIGHT MERLE CH 19
rig
'70 Kenworth K100, gloss black with a moon decal, only runs the 11p-7a shift
home 20
Brule, NE — claims he saw lights over the panhandle in '67, will tell you about it
"there is something in this fog and I am not gonna name it on the air."
MUSTARD JAR CH 19
rig
'69 GMC Astro 95, yellow as the diner light, runs condiments out of Lincoln
home 20
Gothenburg, NE — wife sells eggs at the farm stand, you've met her, you just don't know it
"hold the mayo on the road, fellas, just hold the mayo."
N
NICKEL-PLATE NORMA CH 19
rig
'70 Peterbilt 359, more chrome than truck, you can comb your hair in the fender
home 20
North Platte, NE — used to be a railroad clerk, hence the handle, hence the polish
"I been shined, I been signed, I been on the line since '59 — let's roll."
O
OATMEAL OTIS CH 19
rig
'67 International Loadstar, oatmeal-colored on purpose, hauls flour
home 20
Oshkosh, NE — his oatmeal is famous, his coffee is feared
"slow and warm, fellas. slow and warm. like breakfast."
P
PEACH PIT PEARL CH 19
rig
'71 Kenworth W900, fuzzy peach and gold, sleeper has curtains she sewed herself
home 20
Big Springs, NE — Doris's cousin (yes that's how I know all this)
"the pie case has banana cream tonight, this is not a drill, I REPEAT."
PIGEON-TOE PETE CH 19
rig
'66 Mack B-61, dusty cream, drives with his toes pointed in, that's just how he is
home 20
Potter, NE — sweet as can be, will mishear you on purpose if it's funnier that way
"come back? — copy that? — I HEARD ya, I just wanted to hear ya twice."
Q
QUARTER-MOON QUINN CH 19
rig
'70 Freightliner FLT, gunmetal blue, only drives when the moon's less than half
home 20
Egbert, WY — superstitious, very polite about it, will not negotiate
"can't ride a full moon, fellas. it's a thing. don't ask. it's a thing."
R
ROOSTER COMB CH 19
rig
'69 Peterbilt 359, red red red, antenna whip taller than the cab
home 20
Roscoe, NE — wakes up at 4, calls Doris at 4:03, every single morning
"good MORNIN' I-80, this is your rooster, the sun is comin' whether you like it or not."
RHUBARB CH 19
rig
'68 White Western Star 4864, deep red, hauls produce
home 20
Hyannis, NE — grumpiest sweetheart you'll meet, two granddaughters wrap him around their pinkies
"if the road would just COOPERATE for once, fellas. just ONCE."
S
SARDINE TIN CH 19
rig
'70 GMC Astro, silver, cab so packed with maps you can't see the floor
home 20
Sutherland, NE — knows every shortcut, will share three, will hoard the fourth
"you take the frontage at Brady, you save eight minutes, you didn't hear it from me."
SIDEWINDER SAL CH 19
rig
'71 Kenworth W900, two-tone tan and copper, drives like the road owes her money
home 20
Saratoga, WY — hot springs gal, always smells faintly of sulphur and rose water, lovely combination
"on your left on your left on your left and a happy good evening to ya."
SUGAR LUMP CH 19
rig
'67 Peterbilt 351, white with pink trim, hauls sugar beets
home 20
Scottsbluff, NE — sweetheart, divorced, doesn't want to talk about it, will not pretend otherwise
"that's a big ten-four with sprinkles, see y'all at the Pilot."
T
TAILGATE TEDDY CH 19
rig
'68 Kenworth W900, navy, runs too close, knows it, working on it
home 20
Tryon, NE — single dad, daughter wants to be a vet, he is SO proud
"backin' off, backin' off, I HEAR you, Mama Hen, I'm backin' off."
THREE-EGG THERESA CH 19
rig
'69 Mack Cruiseliner, ivory and burgundy, eats three eggs every breakfast, doctor's orders ignored
home 20
Thedford, NE — sandhills gal, knows every rancher's first name and most of their dogs'
"if it's not over-easy it's not breakfast, that is my final word."
TUMBLEWEED TOMMY CH 19
rig
'70 Freightliner FLB, dusty tan, perpetually has a tumbleweed stuck somewhere on the rig
home 20
Torrington, WY — wind is his weather, his enemy, and his closest friend
"the wind out here ain't blowin', it's PERSONAL, fellas."
V
VELVET ELVIS CH 19
rig
'71 Kenworth K100, midnight blue with — yes — a velvet Elvis taped above the visor
home 20
Vanderbilt, NE (population: him and his sister) — sideburns are real and they are spectacular
"thankyaverymuch good buddy, that's a copy, ten-four, and don't be cruel."
W
WALLEYE WALT CH 19
rig
'69 GMC Astro 95, lake-blue, fishing pole bungeed to the catwalk always
home 20
Lake McConaughy area — has a john boat he refers to as "the office"
"if y'all see a perch the size of a cat, that's mine, leave it, I'm comin' back."
WHISKEY THROTTLE CH 19
rig
'70 Peterbilt 359, faded gold, doesn't actually drink, but the name stuck, you know how it goes
home 20
Wood River, NE — Sunday school teacher of all things
"smooth as buttermilk, fellas. smooth as buttermilk."
WHISTLE BRITCHES CH 19
rig
'67 Mack F-Model, faded orange, polyester pants make a NOISE when he walks
home 20
Wellfleet, NE — found out about the Sunol black ice the rude way, see ticker
"that ice come up on me like a HUSBAND finding the credit-card bill."
Y
YANKEE BISCUIT CH 19
rig
'68 White 9000, biscuit-tan, transplant from Massachusetts, drops his R's, owns it
home 20
Yutan, NE — calls everything "wicked," the boys give him a hard time, he gives it right back
"that's a wicked ten-four, good buddy, pahk the rig and grab a cuppa."
YODEL YVONNE CH 19
rig
'70 Kenworth W900, alpine green and white, yes she actually yodels on the air, yes the boys love it
home 20
York, NE — has won the county fair yodel contest four years running
"yodel-ay-EEE-oooo, that's me clearin' Sidney, who's still up, who's still up."
Z
ZIPPER LIP CH 19
rig
'69 Peterbilt 351, no markings, no decals, no nothing
home 20
"around" — won't say, never has, won't ever, Doris respects this
". . . copy."
there ya have 'em — the regulars, give or take a cousin. if your handle ain't in here, come by the counter and Doris'll get you typed up by the next printing. ★ STAMPED · BIG SPRINGS · MAR 17 '72