Tile for Tile
the official newsletter of the wholegrain glen homeowners' association
by a person who knows what they are about ▲
★ NEW ★ this issue: a maze you can actually walk through (with your finger). also: the back of a cereal box, considered.
A friendly bulletin for the residents of Wholegrain Glen — the 28 houses between Pennyflour Lane and the old crosswalk at Linden & Bran. Hand-delivered if I can find your screen door.
From the President's Desk
Halford B. Burdock, Crossing Guard (ret.)
Good morning, neighbors. Both ways.
This week I have been studying the back of a cereal box. I do this now, on Tuesdays, with a cup of coffee that has gotten too cold. I do not know exactly when this became a hobby. I suspect it began the first morning I was no longer paid to stand in the middle of Linden Street and hold up a sign that says STOP.
What I want to tell you is this: the back of a cereal box is a small, decent country. It has a maze. It has a recipe. It has a cartoon bird who explains, with admirable patience, the difference between iron and calcium. It has — and this is the part I keep returning to — a sentence that reads "part of this complete breakfast," next to a picture of a complete breakfast, which contains the cereal. The cereal is inside the picture of the thing it is part of. I find this beautiful. I think most of us are inside the picture of the thing we are part of, most of the time, and we do not always know it, and we should be kinder when we figure it out.
The HOA met on Tuesday. Minutes are on Page Six (or whatever panel that is when you scroll over to it). We agreed about most things. We disagreed about the dogwoods.
Please remember: when you back out of your driveway, you are the crossing guard now. The job didn't disappear. It just got distributed.
President Burdock can be reached at the green house with the wind sock, Tuesdays after 4 PM, or by leaving a note inside the mailbox-cluster cubby labeled HAL · NOT JUNK.
The Cereal-Box Studies
A column in which we apply, in good faith, the lessons of the panel opposite the nutrition facts.
I. The Maze, considered
Every maze on every box has a way through. The mouse always reaches the cheese. This is not the bravery of the mouse. This is the kindness of whoever drew the maze. Be the person who draws the maze with a way through. Especially at four-way stops.
II. The Mascot's Eyes
Look closely. The tiger is happy. The bear is happy. The bee is, against all reason, happy. Notice how rarely a cereal mascot is asked to look serious. Notice the effort it must take, to be that consistent. Greet your neighbor accordingly.
III. Riboflavin
I do not know what riboflavin does. I am 71. I have eaten roughly 14,400 servings of riboflavin and I am still standing, holding a sign. The point is: a great many things are quietly helping you, all the time, and you do not need to understand them to thank them. Wave at the recycling truck.
IV. "Free Inside!"
The prize is always smaller than the box would suggest. The prize is always exactly the right size. Both can be true. The casserole at the potluck is the prize. The casserole dish is the box.
Walk the Maze
Tap a cell to lay down a path. The path remembers itself, even if you close the window. Start at S. End at F. Take your time. There is no clock.
When I was teaching the kindergartners, I used to say: your feet are allowed to change their mind. that's what a crossing is for. A maze is the same way.
The Week, At A Glance
| Mon 18 | Tue 19 | Wed 20 | Thu 21 | Fri 22 | Sat 23 | Sun 24 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| trash · early | HOA · 7p | recyc. | linden trim 9a | potluck 6p | garage sale22 Bran St | QUIET HOURS · ALL DAY |
Minutes, Briefly
Present: Hal Burdock (pres.), Maxine Plum (tres.), Don Kettle, Etta Marigold-Wills, the Voss twins, the Voss twins' father. Absent: Carl, who is fine, he just has a thing.
Motion to repaint the curb markings at the corner of Linden & Bran passed 6–1 (Don, on principle). The dogwoods were discussed at length. No resolution. They are, all parties agreed, still dogwoods.
Classifieds & Thank-Yous
Now Playing in the Cul-De-Sac
♫ Cul-De-Sac Sunrise (radio edit)
The Boulevard Trio · from the album "Stop, Look, Listen" · ASCAP 1978
people who have listened from this very newsletter: 0
Sign the Guestbook
Click below to leave a quiet mark. We don't keep names. Just a count. Hal likes the count.
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"a song is just a maze where every wall is also a path." — Maxine Plum, treasurer, somewhat philosophical herself
Colophon & Kindnesses
Whose Hands This Passed Through
- Editor & sole reporter: Halford B. Burdock
- Treasurer, fact-checker, occasionally right: Maxine Plum
- Distribution: the Voss twins (one block each, do not switch)
- Coffee: the percolator at the green house
- Riboflavin: sources too numerous to list
Standing Rules of the Newsletter
1. Be specific. 2. Be brief. 3. Be kind. 4. Three exclamation points is the limit; the fourth is showing off. 5. If a story has a villain, ask first if the villain is the dogwoods. Usually it is not.
Next Issue
Vol. III · No. 6 — a special feature on the side of the cereal box (the side, not the back; we are working our way around).
← back to the cul-de-sacPhotography in this issue, with thanks: Photo by Nik on Unsplash. Photo by Alexander Lyashkov on Unsplash. Printed at cost. Folded by hand. Look both ways.