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ROXANNE LOUISE PEMBERTON-ROCK

A Pet Rock Biography · THE TUESDAY VOLUME · entry for 04/21/1998

compiled with love & correct spelling by L. PEMBERTON, PTA Pres. 1997–1999

Hello PTA family, and a thousand welcomes to the eleventh installment of ROXANNE'S TUESDAYS, the only authorized biographical project documenting the daily civic activities of our beloved auxiliary mascot, ROXANNE LOUISE PEMBERTON-ROCK[1]. As always, this entry was typed by yours truly at the kitchen counter while the macaroni boiled.

Tuesday, April twenty-first, nineteen-hundred-and-ninety-eight, was — and I will not be talked out of this — a banner day. Roxanne attended four (4) committee functions, presided over one (1) general meeting, and was awarded the SPRINGBROOK CIVIC ENGAGEMENT PEBBLE of the year, an honor she had been nominated for in 1996 and 1997 without success[2]. Third time really is the charm. I have said as much to my husband twice now and he agrees.

A FULL SCHEDULE!

6:42 AMRoxanne placed on the east-facing windowsill to catch the good morning sun. Did so, presumably with grace.
7:31 AMLoaded into the Pontiac Vibe alongside two casserole dishes and a stack of permission slips for the third-grade Wetlands trip.
8:15 AMVolunteer Coordinators' Breakfast (held behind the cafeteria recycling bins for reasons of acoustics). Roxanne propped on a folded napkin. Topic: replacement of the dunking-booth tarp.
10:00 AMRecess Committee Working Session. Roxanne PRESIDED, which is to say she sat at the head of the long table and the rest of us behaved.
12:07 PMLunch in the south parking lot with Vice-President Susan Diaz. Egg salad on rye, one apiece, none for Roxanne.
2:30 PMField Day Planning Subcommittee. Roxanne consulted on the color of the sack-race sacks (verdict: navy).
4:15 PMReturned home. Brief lie-down on the good doily. Mr. Pemberton vacuumed around her.
7:00 PMGENERAL MEETING, all-purpose room. The Pebble was presented at 7:48 PM by outgoing Treasurer Bob Halverson.
9:14 PMTucked into the felt-lined keepsake box with one (1) firm but kind shake for good night[3].

FROM THE MINUTES (excerpt, lightly tidied)

The award ceremony went off smoothly except for a small mishap with the punchbowl which I will not dwell on. After Treasurer Halverson set the Pebble in front of Roxanne on the folding table, he leaned in closer than is customary at our meetings, and said:

“Roxanne, on behalf of the eleven of us still sitting here at this hour, you have earned every gram of this. Keep showing up.”

There was applause. Three people cried, which I felt was exactly the correct number of people to cry. The cookies were Milanos, donated by the Hendersons, who could not attend on account of a soccer obligation[4].

A NOTE ON ATTENDANCE

It has been brought to my attention — politely, in the carpool lane — that one or two of you have been asking why an inanimate object receives committee assignments. I will not be defensive about this. Roxanne has not missed a Tuesday since the autumn of 1981. She has weathered three (3) school-board reorganizations, the gymnasium roof incident, the brief regrettable period when we tried Wednesdays, and the year we accidentally ordered two hundred dunking-booth tarps. She has earned her seat. If you have further questions please raise them at the appropriate time and not in the carpool lane.

Yours in continued civic effort,
— L. Pemberton, PTA Pres.

FOOTNOTES

  1. ROXANNE was purchased mail-order in April of 1976 for $3.95 plus shipping, from a catalog whose name escapes me but it was the one with the cocker spaniel on the cover. She is Class-II Igneous, weighs 4.2 oz, and has one (1) streak of quartz running NNW to SSE which the children always want to touch and which I gently allow.
  2. In 1996 the Pebble went to a Mr. T. McAllister, a hydrangea. In 1997 it went to a covered dish. Neither, in my opinion, met the strict definition of CIVIC, but I am not on the Nominations Subcommittee, and I have my reasons for keeping it that way, and those reasons concern Donna.
  3. The felt is from a square of leftover Christmas-bazaar material, color “wassail green.” I cut it myself in 1981 with the pinking shears my mother gave me and I have not had to replace it once. The felt is doing fine. We can all aspire to be the felt.
  4. A polite correction issued in the May newsletter: the cookies were in fact Milano MINTS, not regular Milanos. The Hendersons were quite firm on this point and I regret the error. They are very nice and they have a trampoline in the yard.

this Tuesday has been opened on your machine 1 time(s) — thank you for coming back.