DESCRIPTION (FROM SELLER) ♡
okay. OKAY. i need everyone reading this to take a deep breath because I AM SELLING THE ONLY THING I HAVE EVER LOVED. i lived in baybrook, ct from august '04 until last spring and the recycling guide they mail every household IS LITERALLY THE BEST PIECE OF MUNICIPAL WRITING IN AMERICA. i don't make the rules, i just live by them, AND I CANNOT KEEP LIVING BY THEM BECAUSE I MOVED TO A TOWN WHERE THE TRUCK GUY JUST SHRUGS.
this is the 2007 edition (the GOOD ONE, before they took out the kindling appendix in '08). pristine condition, kept in a gallon ziplock with a silica packet. the satin ribbon bookmark is still satin. i would describe the smell as "library + nutmeg + early hope." not joking. i have smelled it on purpose seventeen times.
PLEASE only bid if you understand that this is not a joke listing. yes the rules are charming and weird. NO i am not selling them as a gag gift for your dad who recycles wrong. these go to someone who will follow them. the document is not the rules — the document is a covenant.
A PARTIAL READING OF THE RULES ★ ★ ★
§4.2 — glass containers
shall be rinsed in cold water and inverted on a clean tea-towel.
they shall not be towel-dried. any beading of moisture is acceptable and, indeed, anticipated.
↑ THE LINE "AND, INDEED, ANTICIPATED" CHANGED MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY
§4.5 — pizza boxes
accepted only when grease compromises
less than thirty (30) percent of the bottom panel. residents may, in good faith, estimate this percentage.
"in good faith" !!!!! the township TRUSTS us !!!!!
§5.1 — cardboard
must be folded along existing creases. it shall
never be torn. the township recognizes that some boxes resist folding;
these boxes shall be set aside for the third wednesday.
§7.0 — collection calendar
tuesdays are PAPER. thursdays are RIGID PLASTIC. the third wednesday of each month is HOPE (a free curbside pickup of anything you can no longer keep in your house).
do you understand. "the third wednesday is hope." they put this in a government document on cream stock.
§9.9 — forbidden items
the following shall not be placed at the curb: paint, motor oil, ammunition, fireworks, taxidermy,
and any container that has held bouillon.
i don't know either but i abide
§11.4 — observed holidays
collection is suspended on founders' day (june 14), thanksgiving, christmas, and
the first warm day, as determined by the public works director using their own discretion and a window.
USING THEIR OWN DISCRETION AND A WINDOW. they trusted a man named gerald with a window. and gerald has not been wrong once since 1991.
↑ quoted from pp. 8, 12, 17, 24, 31, 39. the full guide also includes the (later-removed) kindling appendix and a foreword by then-mayor d. quibb (b. 1942, still alive, still sorting) which i will not be quoting because it is private.
Q & A (3)
Q: is this just photocopied? — backyardcompost
no. it was printed by the township on cream stock with a green linen-finish cover. there are 4,400 in existence (one per household, 2007 census). most live in junk drawers. ONE lives in a ziplock with a silica packet, and now it could live with you.
Q: will you ship internationally? — oslo_bin
yes but please understand that the rules are calibrated to a specific corner of connecticut. (they still apply spiritually, anywhere on earth.)
Q: why are you selling if you love it so much — tin_can_aurora
because keeping it on a shelf where i can SEE it every day is a form of haunting. someone deserves to actually USE it. it is the third wednesday in someone's calendar. ♡