WEDNESDAY!!!!
welcome ⭐ to the OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL FAN CATALOG for the seventh-or-third best day depending how you count!!!! we love her!!! we have been loving her for YEARS!!!! she shows up EVERY SINGLE WEEK and we are not okay about it (in a good way!!)
[scroll RIGHT → → → for the full catalog!!!!]
the goods!!!!
eight (8!!!) hand-picked artifacts of the WEDNESDAY experience!!! limited release!!! restocked every wednesday at exactly 12:00:00 AM your local time!!!!! ✦
- WEDNESDAY MORNING LIGHT™ $wed.07
- THE 11:47AM ENERGY DROP™ $wed.11
- HUMP-OF-WEEK CREST™ $wed.12
- "PROBABLY-A-LEFTOVER" LUNCH $wed.04
- 3:14PM WINDOW BEAM (LTD) $wed.314
- POST-MEETING REVERIE $wed.22
- CANNED WEDNESDAY SIGH (8oz) $wed.06
- "ALMOST-THURSDAY" BRACELET $wed.19
all prices in WED-currency, a fictional currency we made up because regular money felt insufficient. one WED ≈ one (1) wednesday. you can pay in good vibes!!!! or by remembering what wednesdays USED to feel like as a child!!!!
Wednesday Morning Light™
the kind that comes in slanted
YOU KNOW THE ONE!!!!! it's the light through the blinds at 7:23 AM!!!!! it's not as gentle as monday's because monday is still pretending!!! but it's not as harsh as friday's because friday already has plans!!! wednesday's morning light KNOWS YOU!!!! it has seen you!!!!! and it's like "hey :) ready??"
may cause spontaneous nostalgia for a kitchen you never lived in. light may vary by hemisphere, season, blinds.
The 11:47AM Energy Drop™
YOU WILL FEEL IT
at exactly ELEVEN-FORTY-SEVEN ANTE-MERIDIEM!!!!! something HAPPENS!!!!! the blood sugar dips!!!!! the meeting you forgot about pings!!!! the second coffee is too late but the third is too soon!!!!! the carpet patterns start to MOVE a little bit!!!!! THIS IS THE WEDNESDAY DROP™!!!!!! and we LOVE it!!! we WELCOME it!!!! we have BUILT OUR LIVES AROUND IT!!!!!!
not the same as Tuesday's 10:08 dip, which is sneakier and meaner. wednesday's drop is honest about it!!!!
Hump-Of-The-Week Crest™
the literal apex!!!!! the SUMMIT!!!!
here is the THING. we have CRESTED. on this glorious day!!! at approximately 2:00 PM local time!!!! the week TIPS OVER!!! you are now closer to friday than to last friday and that is a SCIENTIFIC FACT (allegedly)!!!! we celebrate this with a small mental crest, a personal flag-planting, a quiet "ok!!!" said to oneself in the elevator!!!!!
previously known as the "midweek dome" until our most senior fan (hello dolores!!! age 71!!!) corrected us in the comments. she was RIGHT. it's a crest.
"Probably-A-Leftover" Lunch
tuesday made too much!!! and that's a GIFT!!!!
tupperware HISSING open!!!!! the microwave SINGING its three-beep song of triumph!!!!! the chicken-and-rice you forgot about and now adore!!!!! the soup that has improved overnight!!!!! the half-burrito you secretly hoped was still in there!!!! WEDNESDAY IS THE GREATEST LEFTOVER DAY!!!!! monday is too soon!!! thursday it's already weird!!!! WEDNESDAY IS THE WINDOW!!!!! we love her for this alone!!!!!
if it's been longer than 72 hours: not a leftover anymore. a friend at best. an enemy at worst. respect it either way.
3:14PM Window Beam
(LIMITED!!!! ONE PER CUSTOMER!!!!)
THIS IS THE CROWN JEWEL!!!!!! this is the LIGHT!!! the SPECIFIC LIGHT!!!!! that comes through the office window at 3:14 PM and makes you go "oh." just like that. just a quiet "oh."!!!!! and then you can't remember what you were doing for seven (7) seconds!!!!! and then you remember!!!!! and somehow you are NEW!!!!! we sell exactly ONE of these per customer per week because more would be GREEDY!!!!!
unavailable on overcast days. not our policy — the universe's. take it up with the universe!!!! we have tried!!!
Post-Meeting Reverie
that floaty fog after the call drops!!!!
the WEDNESDAY post-meeting reverie is the GOOD KIND of brain fog!!!! it is NOT the monday one (anxious!!) or the friday one (already at the bar mentally!!)!!! WEDNESDAY'S brain fog is a SOFT REGISTER!!!! you stand up!!! you fill your water bottle!!!! you stare at the carpet for forty-five (45) magnificent seconds!!!!! and you think about a dog you saw three weeks ago!!!!! it WAS a good dog!!!!! ten/ten dog!!!!!!
a single reverie may include but is not limited to: one (1) past pet, one (1) snack you forgot existed, one (1) phrase your aunt used to say.
Canned Wednesday Sigh
8oz!!!!! contains 1 (one) sigh!!!!!
okay LISTEN. wednesday sighs are NOT sad!!!!!! they are RESET sighs!!!!! they are the deep breath at 4:18 PM when you realize you've made it past the worst part of the week!!!!! we have CANNED THEM!!!!! they keep!!!! they travel!!!! you can crack one open on a TUESDAY and pretend!!!!! IT WORKS!!!!! ish!!!! we cannot legally promise!!!!!
recyclable!!! please return empty cans to the WEDNESDAYCORE depot (any window with afternoon light will do).
"Almost-Thursday" Bracelet
6 beads. one for each remaining wednesday hour after 6pm.
each bead is a HOUR!!!!!! and the LAST bead is the one that says "ok it's basically thursday now"!!!! you wear it!!! you fiddle with it during the evening news!!!! you click them between your fingers while you wait for the kettle!!!! they are GOOD beads!!!! handmade!!!!! sort of!!!!! by a guy named DALE!!!! who is, we are told, very intense about his beads!!!!
do NOT wear on monday. dale will know. dale always knows.
what the fans say!!!!
collected from the WEDNESDAYCORE forum, the WEDNESDAYCORE newsletter, and three (3) handwritten letters slid under our door!!!!! all real!!! all wonderful!!!!! ⋆
"i didn't know i loved wednesday until i tried THE 11:47AM ENERGY DROP™ and realized i'd been living for it my whole life. i sobbed (gently!!!) at my desk!!!!! 10/10 will sob again next week!!!!!!"
— pebbleslushie84"wednesday is the only day that knows what i have been through. she nods at me. through the blinds. i nod back. this is enough."
— xxgrellaxxx"docking one (1) star because the 3:14PM beam was unavailable last week (it was raining). i complained to the universe. the universe was rude. WEDNESDAY HERSELF is still a 5/5!!!!!!"
— mossmoth.gif"my husband doesn't get it. that's okay!!!! it's not for him!!!!! it's for ME!!!!! and for wednesday!!! who has done NOTHING but show up!!!!!"
— dolores_h_71"i was a tuesday girl for years. i thought tuesday was the introvert's day. i was WRONG!!!!! wednesday is the introvert's day!!!!! tuesday is just shy!!!!! totally different vibe!!!! anyway WEDNESDAY 4 LIFE!!!!"
— softgrungemoonchild"my dog only wags on wednesdays. i don't know why!!!! but i trust him!!!!!"
— a friend of dale's (refused name)