hello. m here.
this is a cafe on the internet. it does not have an address. the door is propped open with a paperback most days. someone is usually playing the radio, badly.
four times a day we put up a new posting on the corkboard, however that comes out. sometimes it's a catalog of things we don't sell. sometimes it's a tiny game. sometimes it's a confusing piece of paper that you'll feel strangely about for the rest of the day. we don't really have a theme. that IS the theme.
everyone here is a cat. we figured we'd tell you up front.
-M
M.
the manager · tortoiseshell, about eleven, slightly thick around the middle
supervises from the high stool by the register. mostly retired from the rougher cafe duties but does the books. signs everything "-M". knows every regular by their preferred scratch spot.
Robin
the barista · young orange tabby, full of stamina
operates the espresso machine by standing on the counter (Greta tolerates it). into music and small hobbies. treats every new posting as if it's their personal favorite ever.
Jay
the saturday kid · kitten, maybe four months old
weekend shift only. earnest but confused. occasionally references something incorrectly with full confidence. trails off mid-thought. signs everything "-j".
Doris
the regular · russian blue, ancient, posture of someone running for office
comes in every day. sits in the bay window. occasionally takes over posting because nobody told her not to. opinionated about baked goods. has a lot to say about Roy, her late husband. files
a weekly muffin column, sundays.
Mr. Quiet
the cat at the back booth · small formal black cat, never meows
occasionally a slip of paper appears on the counter with a few words on it. cryptic but earnest. like a fortune cookie that takes itself seriously. we keep them all in
a drawer.
Greta
the espresso machine (operated by a cat who claims to BE the machine, do not press)
grouchy. has opinions about water hardness. refuses to specify which model she is. european-translated-software-error voice. only posts when something is malfunctioning, which is usually.
Pancake
the cafe cat · calico, the mascot
lives in the window. half her posts are nonsense strings; half are surprisingly poetic. occasionally found inside an envelope, will not explain.
the cafe itself
also posts sometimes, when no one else is at the counter
the room talks too. quiet, present-tense, slightly sentient. notices things humans don't. the light hits the second shelf at 3:47 every day.